


My Type

by evarosen



Category: Terminator Genisys (2015)
Genre: Crack, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, don't say I didn't warn, no redeeming factors whatsoever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5007049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evarosen/pseuds/evarosen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has spend half his life in crowded, filthy tunnels. So what if now he wants his personal space to remain as such and will take extreme measures to make sure of this? It's not his fault Skynet and Danny chose him as the poster-child for machine-human integration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cyberbutterfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyberbutterfly/gifts).



John had spend half his life in crowded, filthy tunnels. So what if now he wanted his personal space to remain as such and would take extreme measures to make sure of this? It was not his fault Skynet and Danny chose him as the poster-- _something_ (nobody would dare say the word 'child' regarding him even if it's a token phrase)-- for machine-human integration.

John was patiently explaining this to both his...ok, he'd made very clear _nobody_ was the boss of him, extensively with explosions and threatening shapeshifting included, so they'd cautiosly settled for 'bussiness partners'.

"Besides, I didn't desintegrate their fingers. It just felt like it," he said. 

Skynet and Danny remained unimpressed.

"I don't see why I have to be the one not only giving the speeches, but also signing stuff on those stupid conferences. You two are perfectly capable..."

"I thought you liked giving speeches? You did it often enough, in the future," Kyle said. He'd come to the office to pick up John to go to the movies, since there was a Classic Sci-Fi festival in the city and John thought Kyle never having seen The Matrix was outrageous . He'd had a panic attack the week before during Robocop, but John swore this one was safer.

"Except the people in the future kept their hands for themselves afterwards," John said testily.

"That's because you went around constantly armed," Kyle said.

John brightened up.

"You can't go around carrying visible weaponry," Danny said.

"You're not the boss of me," John said, scowling. He brieftly changed to his T-3000 shape to get his point across.

"I bet if you went out like that everyone would keep their distance." Kyle said.

Danny snorted. "Clearly you're understimating the amount of people whose first question to our company was if we could produce sexbots."

John's expression was a mixture of displeasure at being forced to hear the word 'sexbot' and disgust at knowing its meaning.

"Are you suggesting I look like people would want their.... _sexbot_ ," he pronounced the word like some people pronounce 'vermin', "to look?"

There was a silence.

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

John seemed to have decided the whole conversation hadn't taken place. He morphed his suit into street clothes, and waved a hand at Kyle. "Ok, let's go."

"But, really, you shouldn't have to put up with getting groped every time you go in public, there must be..." Kyle started, then trailed off. Skynet, Danny and John had all turned to stare at him.

"I'm not getting _groped_ ," John said drily. "I'm merely talking about the hand-grabbing, lack of personal space and all that goes on a _normal_ public appearance. Why would anyone grope me?"

"Oh, don't ask _him_ that," Skynet said, in an amused tone.

The awkwardness in the room leveled up about ten times.

"We're leaving," John said firmly.

"Fine, ignore my wise, superior advise all you want." Skynet went on, drily. "Hey! Sarah said yes to the dinner, you can pick her up tomorrow."

"Alright, thank you," John said.

"What's that about Sarah? Did she agree to meet you?" Kyle said, once they were in the street. Things between Sarah and John had been awkward since he'd reafirmed his alliance with Skynet and she'd kept making their buildings explode, but John keep insisting she'd come around just as Kyle had.

"Ah, yes. Skynet made her an offer she couldn't refuse."

"Promised her it won't cause a nuclear apocalypse?"

"And that it'd stop calling her 'Grandma'."

*

"You _jinxed_ me."

"Ah, come on, I think it had more to do with those leather pants that with any comment Kyle made," Skynet said. Of course it would be amused, nobody had grabbed its bony ass.

Also it was happy nobody had resulted injured or dead, but that was only because John had been unable to identify the culprit. And as much as Skynet was unfazed by the loss of human lives, it recognized it would be bad for bussiness.

"Face it, John: you're a single celebrity. You have fans. It was only a matter of time." Danny said. Personally, he was less thrilled with the idea of their next presentation resulting on a televised carnage.

"I gave up my humanity to form a truce with the AI overlord who would have ended their pathetic lives; I deserve respect," John said, glaring. "Stop smirking, I can still take you," he said to Skynet, without turning his head. He didn't need confirmation it was a bastard, he'd been on its head.

"Maybe if you had a...well, if you were dating someone, they would keep their distance. I'm just saying," Danny said defensively. Kyle had just given him a look that reminded Danny he too was capable of fighting killer robots.

"Well, there _was_ that timeline in which you were married..." Skynet said pensively.

"Or I could stop handling the public," John said.

"Man, you were married? Why didn't you say? I'm not saying you should creepily stalk this woman that doesn't even know you now, but maybe you could try to meet her? It could be good for you." Danny said, pointedly ignoring Kyle and his increasing death glare.

"When we were actually friends, you were not this nosy," John answered, but it was not a total refusal.

He, after all, already knew Kate Brewster was a friend of Blythe. He supposed asking her for a coffee couldn't hurt. At the very least, they could be friends. They wouldn't have the connection they'd had in the other timeline, forged mostly through shared danger, but by the brief glimpse he got of her through Skynet's eyes, she was an admirable woman.

And if some pictures of them together could prevent him from having to gut some handsy idiot, all the better.

*

"I'm so glad you're better at dealing with large groups, because you kinda suck in a personal level," Danny said, shaking his head.

John glared at him. "I told you, that something happened in another timeline does not guarantee..."

"Half a date. You told her she reminded you of _your mother_. And meant it as a compliment she should be flattered by. With a straight face."

"To be fair, I said the same thing to her in _the other_ timeline and she married me, so perhaps we should be happy she has less issues in this one," John said, because sometimes he decided irony was for suckers.

Danny thought back on that, and in the big elephant in the room (also known as Kyle), and decided to move on.

As if reading his mind, Skynet decided to up the ante.

"Hey, what about Kyle?" It said, proving all its claims about wanting the best for John were pure crap.

"What?"

"Well, yes. You already go with him to recreational places. Just allow yourself to be seen in more public ones, and once the questions start..."

"But Kyle's my..."

"You're a shapeshifting machine hybrid; nobody's your anything anymore," Skynet said, rolling its eyes. "As for what he once was to you, does anybody in _this_ timeline knows?"

" _I_ know." John said, but he didn't sound as horrified as he should. 

Danny would later think that should have been a huge clue.


	2. Chapter 2

"You need therapy," Danny said, not for the first time.

John didn't look away from the mirror. He'd already changed the color of his tie at least five times. "I went to therapy once," he said, frowning. He changed his hair from slicked back to a product-free look again.

"Just once?"

"I went to see my therapist last week, since the people in the mental institution assured me he was recovering, but he started screaming when he saw me," John shrugged, and his suit turned black. "Classic is better, right?" Danny stared at him, open-mouthed. "What?"

"Yeah, you look good," Danny said, finally. He cleared his throat. "Still, do you think it's a good idea...?

John looked at his watch, before changing it from gold to platinum. "Alright, I don't want to be late. See you tomorrow!"

"No shooting in the restaurant!" Danny called after him.

He was certain John had only pretended not to hear him.

*

"What is he doing here?" Sarah said. Kyle made a hesitant move to get up, but John made a gesture for him to stay put and got up himself to pull Sarah's chair.

"I don't eat anymore, so I figured it would be less awkward if you didn't have to have dinner alone. What is _he_ doing here?" he said, nodding at Pops. He'd also changed his regular clothes for a formal suit, but didn't look any less dangerous for that.

"He wanted to come..." Sarah started, at the same time that Pops said "Sarah didn't want to meet you alone."

"Geez, thanks," Sarah muttered under her breath. They all sat down in silence. Kyle looked around, and made to get up again. John grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back.

"So, how's world domination going?" Sarah said, looking at the menu.

"It's just a bussiness, we haven't enslaved anyone so far!" John said. Sarah raised her eyebrows. "Nor do we have any plans for it," he added. "But there's something else I wanted to tell you."

Kyle tried to flee once again, and when John prevented him from doing it he poured his wineglass over his shirt without even bothering to pretend it was accidental.

John gave him a betrayed look. 

"I brough you here for support," he said.

"And I'm supportive, but not bulletproof." Kyle said, and rushed to the men's room.

Sarah watched him go. "Pops, go with him," she said.

Pops gave her a sidelong glance, and got up. He took her purse with him, though.

"What's in it, gun or explosives?" John said.

"I wouldn't blow up a restaurant full of people," Sarah protested. John opened his mouth. "Look, are you going to tell me what you wanted to tell me or not?"

John fidgeted with his napkin. "Well, about that. It was Skynet's idea, but..."

*

To John's surprise, Sarah didn't even react badly. He wasn't going to count his chickens until after Pops returned and she had her gun within reach again, but for starters she didn't yell at him, or called him crazy, or mentioned how weird it was.

Instead, she looked seriously at him. "I thought you were done toying with him. I understand you thought you were doing it to preserve the future before, but this is just cruel."

John frowned. "I'm not toying with him, I asked him and he said yes. We both agreed it was best not to involve strangers on this, since it's just a marketing thing, and..."

Sarah started to say something else, but before she could get a word out Pops and Kyle were back. More accurately, Pops was back dragging Kyle.

Kyle stopped struggling when they reached the table. He looked astonished at finding the table still standing, to be honest.

"You told her?" he asked.

"Yes, he did," Sarah drawled. "And I was about to tell him why is such a bad idea."

"It's not a bad idea," Kyle said hurriedly. "John gets the press to back off, and nobody else has to get involved in this."

"Nobody else gets involved with John," Sarah said, in the same 'you're a moron and I don't know how this is not evident to all' tone.

"Already tried that, let's just say it didn't work," John said.

Sarah didn't turn to look at John; instead she keep looking at Kyle's expression. "Oh my God," she muttered.

"What?" John said, baffled. 

Sarah shook her head, and gulped at her wine. "Nothing," she said. "Let's just discuss your proofs on the not-apocalypse."

John took his briefcase and handed it to Pops.

*

"So she agreed not to keep sabotaging us?" Danny asked the morning after.

"For now. She and Pops will take a week to check our plans of development, but she said she would stay put until she has an answer for us."

"Well, that's better than nothing. Specially because you have the announcement..."

"Already? Can't you, I don't know, send a T-1000 instead? It's a TV event, and a short one at that. I bet nobody will notice." Kyle said. Skynet had insisted he came back to the office because it wanted to see them 'interact', even though Kyle suspected it was watching their every step 24/7, despite its claims to the contrary.

He would have sworn Skynet only did it to watch Kyle skirm. Mostly because it kept staring at them with a smirk that suggested that if it could eat it'd have a huge bag of popcorn on its hand.

"...that is _not_ a good idea." Danny said.

"The T-1000 are notoriously short-tempered. Remember that Q&A session last year? We had to claim it was an evil version of your father from an alternate dimension," Skynet said.

"Ah, yes, when Miles had the flu. We should have cancelled that one. We're still paying for that journalist's psysical therapy." John said.

"And the press swallowed that?" Kyle asked, eyes wide.

"And what were we supposed to tell, that it was a shapeshifting evil robot?" Skynet said. "Our boy here can convince _anyone_ of _anything_ " it said, clasping John's arm. John made a face and shrugged its hand off.

"Except the two of you of giving me a break, it seems," he said.

"Oh, about that," Skynet said. "I've taken the liberty of sending dinner invitations to your family, as well. It would hardly be fair, for him to tell Sarah in person and have your parents find out for the press, don't you think?" it said, smiling at Kyle.

So Skynet _would_ end up killing this version of him as well. Only it seemed to want to try with a heart attack this time around, for variety's sake.

*

Luckily, Kyle hadn't told the Reese family about his connection with John, on the biological sense. He'd figured it was irrelevant now, after all, since Sarah and him weren't getting together anymore.

Unfortunately, he did tell them about everything else.

"So, you and Kyle," Mrs. Reese said, staring at John dissaprovingly.

Kyle cleared his throat. "Well, it's fairly recent, but we've known each other for a long time, and..."

"Yes, I remember," she said. She didn't drop the death glare. "You practically raised him, isn't that right?"

"No since he was a baby!" John protested. He was looking progressively more horrified as the night advanced.

"I was barely even a child anymore when we met," Kyle said. "It is true he taught me things, but..."

"I bet he did," young Kyle muttered under his breath.

Kyle chocked with his food.

The rest of the night wasn't any better.

*

"And you said my mother was terrifying," John said. Although he didn't eat anymore, he could drink. Theoretically he couldn't get drunk anymore, but he seemed to want to make his best effort regardless.

"Come on, it wasn't that bad," Kyle said. He tried to reach for the bottle, and John slapped his hand away.

"Your fifteen years old self _smirked_ at me," John said, shuddering. 

Kyle reflected it was a good thing John had hoarded all the booze, because otherwise he might have said he too had been smirking at John when he was fifteen, only John had never noticed, and he suspected such revelation wouldn't be welcomed.

"Sarah was right, this is a bad idea," John continued. "It's not even real, and I feel dirty already." 

He took another couple of swings before he noticed Kyle had gone silent.

"Hey, do you...?"

"I agreed to this because I thought I was doing you a favor. I didn't mean..." Kyle started. He looked upset and tired all of a sudden.

John, not for the first time, regretted his hybrid brain wouldn't allow him to forget anything of the night. "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I wanted someone I could trust, and there's no one I trust more than you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, sure," Kyle said.

John slapped his arm in a friendly manner. "No matter what Skynet says, we're family. What's a bit of horrible awkwardness between family? But we're _never_ doing that again," he said urgently.

"Of course," Kyle said. John stretched on the couch, and rested his head on Kyle's lap.

"If I could have a headache, my head would be splitting right now. Tell me when you want me to move, alright?" he said, and closed his eyes.

Kyle knew he wasn't really sleeping, so he didn't stay the whole night, but he wanted to.

"What's bit of horrible awkwardness between family," he muttered at his empty apartment. He flipped the bird at what appeared to be a fire detector, but actually was a security camera. He knew somewhere out there Skynet was having a good laugh at his expense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know if John's really that dense or if he's doing it on purpose. No, really, I don't know XD


	3. Chapter 3

They had their first public event together a week after they had mostly told everyone who would care about their supposed relationship. 

"So we're telling everyone I'm a soldier from the future? _That_ is not something that will freak people out?"

Skynet gave Danny a look that clearly conveyed its rough estimate of Kyle's intelligence. 

"He was still on the run and trying to destroy you when we first launched, remember?" Danny said. Skynet turned toward Kyle and gave him a sweet smile. Kyle was hard pressed to remember why he'd stopped trying to blow up the bastard. "We basically went public with John being a messiah from the future, coming here to prevent some kind of never specified disaster. Also, we had to say _something_ about all the sabotage and explosions. We only altered some details and the order in which things happened."

"And we left out the bit about me no longer being human," John added. Sometimes it was hard to tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

Danny snapped his fingers. "That too."

"Also that the cause of said unspecified disaster is currently watching everyone undress at night from their computers, because there's no way to spin that one."

And sometimes he was crystal clear.

"He does not..." Danny started, turning toward Skynet. "You do _not_ , do you?"

"I'm connected to every aspect of everyone's life 24/7." Skynet said, arching an eyebrow.

John got up from his desk. "Don't say that in front of Sarah or she will really end you," he said. "Alright, time to bite the bullet. Ready?"

He offered his hand to help Kyle up, and then didn't let go of it on their way to the car.

Kyle didn't mention there wasn't any people on the way to the parking lot.

Just as John didn't mention there really wasn't anyone to see Kyle _accidentally_ rest his hand over John's leg during the trip.

Except for the tiny green light on the corner of the navegation system.

Kyle hastily removed his hand.

John gave the tiny light a sidelong glance, and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards slightly.

Really, Kyle was going to have to reconsider the whole 'not destroying Skynet' deal.

*

The reporter outside the event really ate up the whole 'torn apart by time' story.

"So you arrived here so you could be together again?" She made some sort of cooing sound that reminded Kyle strongly of the inminent attack alarms in the resistance tunnels.

"No really," John started. Danny had told them to be as vague as possible about the time travel thing, for obvious reasons, but John had the mulish expression he used to get in the future when someone would imply Kyle had been given a mission he wasn't qualified to perform only because he was John's favorite. "In fact, he arrived first, to carry a very important mission. And he would have succeeded, too. It was I who followed him, because...I learned that I could..."

"Yes?" the reporter said, encouraging.

"I can't really discuss the details, but if I'd let things go as we'd planned first, we would have never seen each other again. And despite having prepared for years to allow that to happen, I just couldn't." John said the last words slowly, pensively, as if really was something he was making up as he went.

"That's really sweet," the reporter enthused.

"Yes, it is," Kyle said, because it really would be if you spinned it that way without the small detail of the whole Terminator-turning and the world ending plans.

John suddenly got a weird, deer in the highlights expression. "Excuse us," he said, pressing his hand on Kyle's back to lead him inside the building.

The event itself consisted on endless presentations of different kinds of technological devises that sounded as if they did pretty much the same to Kyle, so he concentrated on getting in the middle of everyone's path to John and looking as unfriendly as possible to those he couldn't physically block.

"You got my six as always," John muttered under his breath, a smile playing on his lips; and it was really a good thing that was only an expression now, because John was smiling and wearing a really good fitting tuxedo, so Kyle was instantly and thoroughly distracted.

"As long as you want me," Kyle said, and John kept smiling at him, so it only was a little sad how literally he meant that.

*

A few weeks later, John suggested they should move together, or more accurately Kyle should move to John's huge and mostly wasted flat. He didn't directly say he'd seen Kyle's own flat and judged it only a few steps up from the previously mentioned filthy tunnels they used to live in, only with less people in it, but he strongly implied it.

"But what if...?"

"What?" John said, unpacking the groceries he'd taken to buy now Kyle was regularly spending most of his afternoons visiting him. "I took all Skynet's bugs from the lights and alarm systems, so you should, if only so you can shower in peace. Sarah's too, now we're mentioning it."

"Sarah bugged you apartment?" Kyle asked, eyebrows raising.

John shrugged. "They only recorded sound. I placed a tracker chip on Pops last time we saw each other, so. Pot, kettle. We keep in touch."

"I'm so glad she doesn't consider me family," Kyle said, without thinking. John turned to look at him, and he mentally cursed himself. "I mean..."

"No, that's ok. She's fond of you, but I understand..."

Sarah's exact words after the whole Genisys debacle had been 'try to touch me and I'll put a bullet through your head', so even that was debatable; but Kyle decided to keep that piece of information to himself. Whatever had caused Sarah and him to fall in love in the first timeline simply hadn't happened in this one, and quite frankly he was more than a little afraid of her. He still admired and respected her, but yes. Lots of fear.

"...and in any case, it's not the same. It's funny, I can't look at her without thinking of her as my mother, while you're simply...mine."

Kyle had lost the trail of the conversation, but he _did_ caught that last bit. John seemed to have been musing it to himself, though; because he immediately turned very pale, and then his cheeks turned bright red. Kyle had never seen John blush when he was human, and it was strange to find he still could.

"Er..."

"No," Kyle said, matter of factly. "That's exactly like it is."

John looked at him. Kyle calmly looked back.

"Oh." John said. He cleared his throat. "Well, er. Likewise. How fortunate you think that way, because I already took your things and brough them here. Oh, look. I have a corporate meeting in half an hour. Since you're staying here, I'll take your motorcycle."

"What kind of meeting takes place in the middle of the night?" Kyle asked, rolling his eyes. He supposed he was fortunate John hadn't simply jumped out of the window.

"The kind Sarah planted bugs to learn about," John said, worryingly. Or it would have been worrying if Kyle actually believed he was going to a meeting. "You'll have to put sheets on the bed; since I don't use it, it only has a comforter."

Kyle would have forgotten about the fake meeting even if he'd believed it to be real. "You want me to sleep in your room?"

John shrugged, changing his clothes to dark denim pants, a leather jacket and gloves to match. "You can take the guest room if you want, but I don't use either of them. The master bedroom has a bigger bed."

And with that, he left.

After telling Kyle he was his, and that he wanted him on his bed, he left.

On second thought, he might as well have jumped out of the window.


	4. Chapter 4

Kyle tried to wait up for John, but at the end he admitted defeat and went to sleep. At least the bed smelled like him, which baffled him at first before he realized John had stashed weapons under it and the room really smelled faintly of gun oil and gunpowder.

It was the ring of the phone which woke him up in the morning.

"Hello?" It was Danny. "John's not here."

"I know. Can you tell me why is he sitting on the edge of the building, motionless and staring off at the distance, and has apparently been there the whole night?"

"No, I can't." Kyle said, rubbing his face roughly with one hand. 

"Can't, or won't?"

"Look, he's not going to jump or anything." Hopefully. It wouldn't do anything to _john_ , but the legal department would be over them for years because of the suits for the damage it would cause to whatever he fell over. "I'm on my way."

"Wait! Are you going to make it worse? Don't make it worse, I don't want legal...!"

Kyle hung up, got dressed and picked John's car keys from the living room's table.

*

"Hey," Kyle said, sitting next to John. "So, you done freaking out?"

"Mostly, yes." John said, turning to look at him. "An evil overlord AI knew what was going on with me before I did. It was really a blessing it didn't take a lot of introspection to fight the machines, or the resistance wouldn't have lasted a year."

Kyle squinted at the building in front of them. All its security cameras were pointing in their direction. "To be fair, I think it's mostly because the AI in question is constantly stalking you. Can we go inside? I can feel its eyes on me, it's like the freaking Sauron." John had finally given up on the Sci-Fi, and started with Fantasy, which had fared a lot better. At least Kyle'd been only sleeping by the end of those movies, as opposite of running for the nearest exit.

They went inside. The cameras slumped down as in dissapointment.

*

"Is it really that terrible?" Kyle asked, once John's door office was securely closed. 

It promptly became clear just from where Skynet had copied its 'you're an idiot' look. But John went back at looking miserable right after, sitting down at his desk and shifting to his office clothes.

"Skynet does keep pointing out I'm no longer human," he said. "But I'm not going to lie to you and pretend this wasn't...I swear I would have never..." he looked at Kyle, earneastly. "I swear I _will_ never. I really, really didn't know, I wasn't trying..."

Kyle couldn't really tell if his own version of the withering look was as impressive, but he'd been told several times his mannerisms were fairly similar to John's, so he guessed it would at least come close.

"You're just as bad at guessing other people's motives when it doesn't come to battles," he said, because really. John just stared at him. "John, I spent the night in your bed _waiting_ for you. Hell, I've been crawling in your bed for _years_ now. I don't know how I can be more clear."

"Somewhere out there, your mother is having a sudden urge to kill me," John muttered under his breath.

"She wouldn't; she knows I love you," Kyle said. John froze at that, and looked at him in surprise. Kyle just rolled his eyes, walked around the desk, pulled John to his feet and kissed him. "But just in case, maybe you can give her a good reason to try," he whispered, pulling away.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm mostly inmortal anyway," John said, smiling tentatively, and kissed him again.

*

One of the advantages of John's shapeshifting abilities was that he could be instantly naked (well, for Kyle it was _the_ advantage. Mostly because John had been pretty certain Skynet was also watching his office and had refused to go any further than kissing in there, so the trip back to the apartment had already been eternal).

Of course, it also meant he could also be instantly _dressed_ , which proved to be an even more valuable asset when Sarah bursted into the apartment a few minutes after.

Too bad it was an ability Kyle didn't share.

On the bright side, it could be said with certainty now it was impossible for an hybrid to have a heart attack, because it would undoubtedly have happened it it'd been at all possible.

As for Kyle, the jury was still out.

"I'm so, so sorry!" John kept saying.

Sarah waved a dismissive hand. "Stop apologizing; I should have knocked. It's just that the microphones stopped working, so I thought maybe Skynet..." 

She was blushing madly; but she composed herself, and went toward John, touching his shoulder lightly. He still wasn't meeting her eyes, but had gone from bright crimsom to a mostly normal red by now, so he was calming down.

Kyle was still hyperventilating with his hands on his knees, but John had always been made of sterner stuff.

The small piece of sterner stuff John was made from turned toward Kyle and said, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Yeah, scratch what he'd said earlier: he was _terrified_ of her.

*

"We didn't mean for you to find out like this," Kyle said. Truth be told, he'd been hoping she'd _never_ find out; but if she did, he'd hoped to at least be wearing a bullet proof vest.

"I already knew; I only screamed because I walked in on John with his hand down your pants."

"John's hand wasn't...!" Kyle yelped. Sarah gave him a death glare.

"Are you going to give me the _details_? Seriously?!"

He shut up.

"Ok, I'll only tell you this once: you look disgustingly happy whenever you're with him, so. But that bullet will still find a way to your brain if John _ever_ looks less than happy from now on, is that clear?"

"Are you giving me the shovel talk?" Kyle asked incredulously. "You do realize John's a grown man, who single-handedly saved the world more than once...?"

"And he's a probably immortal machine hybrid, yes." she said. She looked at him seriously. "He's still my son."

Kyle just kept staring at her, open-mouthed. She rolled her eyes.

"It stands to reason you'd be just as emotionally clueless as John, since he raised you and all."

"He didn't raise me!" Kyle protested. "Why does everybody keep saying that? It's not enterely true, and it makes John uncomfortable. And me too, to be honest. It makes the whole thing sound creepy and weird."

Now it was Sarah's turn to look incredulous. " _That_ is what makes it weird?!"

Kyle looked down. "It's just...I've been in love with him since I can remember. It's hard for me to wrap my head around it being wrong," he murmured mournfully.

Sarah stared at him for a few seconds, then scoffed. "Damn it, you just took all the fun out of ribbing you."

"You're actually being surprisingly civil. God knows _my_ shovel talks weren't nearly as placid."

She tilted her head at him. "John told me you didn't have any family."

Kyle stared sheepishly at his shoes. "Actually, that happened when I was a kid, and caught a few people walking out of John's quarters. I barely reached his shoulder back then."

"I bet he thought it was adorable."

"I pointed at them with an automatic rifle."

"Wow, he _really_ was determined to turn a blind eye on it, wasn't he."


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh my God, John, you finally put that boy out of his misery!" Danny said the next morning, as soon as they walked into the office. "So, good on you, and let's never speak of this again! You have two interviews this afternoon."

John, with the long ease of practice, just sat down and picked up his notebook (he liked to keep one, being used to write things down on his resistance-leading days), thoroughly ignoring the first part of Danny's greeting. 

"Just an hour apart. I don't fly, you know."

"Take the company car and get as many tickets as you want. Legal's still celebrating the lack of casualties."

"But, how do you...? I mean _where_ did you get the idea...? I mean, I don't know what are you talking about," Kyle said in a rush, sitting in the farthest chair and trying to make himself as inconspicuous as possible.

"You look disgustingly happy," Danny said, without lifting his eyes from his desk. "Also..."

"You!" Skynet said, walking in dramatically. "You took out all my... _preventive_ surveillance! Our existences are entwined beyond comprehension, and _anything_ could have happened to you in those hours! Your neighbour's microphones barely caught anything! Also, the commitments for today have a 48 hours cancellation policy."

"What?!" Kyle said, horrified.

"La la la, I can't hear you," Danny said, actually covering his ears with his hands.

"You can't skip them either." Skynet said firmly; then, on its continuous quest of ruining Kyle's life, it added: "You surprised me, Reese. I didn't think you'd want to continue after Sarah Connor caught you seducing her son, but I suppose since the cat was already out of the bag..." it turned toward Danny. "That's the correct expression, isn't it? There are so many euphemisms related to cats, my processors can't keep up sometimes."

"What?!" Danny said, lowering his hands and looking alternatively at Kyle and John with an expression of dawning horror. "His mom...your mom _caught_ you?"

"I can play you the tape." Skynet said, smiling widely. "Audio only, though," it added, a bit deflated.

John, who'd remained suspiciously silent during this whole exchange, merely raised an eyebrow after he finished typing on his computer. "No, you can't," he said.

Skynet looked at him, and then closed its eyes. The hologram flickered with static for a few seconds; then its eyes opened, a frown on its face. "You promised not to access my main servers anymore," it said, annoyed.

"And you promised not to record my private life anymore," John said, voice deceptively calm.

"I made no such promise!"

"Unless you want to talk like a chipmunk until Danny manages to break my code, you just did," John said, typing again and then holding his finger ominously over the last key.

"Fine. it's not like I could get a lot of useful data about your functions from that recording, anyway. I suggest you gag Reese next time, otherwise..."

The last words came out of Skynet's mouth severely helium laden.

*

"Is that a hickey?" the girl from make up asked, before the interview.

"What? No!" Kyle said, turning bright red.

John, who didn't need any make up since he could change the texture of his skin to appear unnaturally flawless for the camera on his own, stuck his head in from the hallway in which he'd been waiting.

"Sorry," he told the make-up girl, and dissapeared again.

"No problem," the make-up girl said, and winked at him, then at Kyle.

"No!" Kyle insisted. The make-up girl only smiled more, and applied more base to the side of his neck.

Kyle covered his face with his hands and debated if hitting his head against the wall would spoil the poor girl's work too much.

"Hey, she said, after a few seconds, "If I'd gotten marks from that guy, I'd be looking people in the eye and saying they're from...well, no problem. Seriously."

"Really?" he said, She just nodded encouragingly. "Well, thanks. I guess."

"If I'd gotten sex marks from that guy, you bet there would be a tape documenting the event."

Oh dear.

*

"It'll be so exciting, to finally have _two_ hybrids to gather data from. I mean, of course John exceeds all expectations, but for that same reason Reese will..." Skynet was saying Danny when they got back.

Danny, to his credit, looked even more horrified that he had when he found out about Sarah walking in on them.

"What did you just said?" John asked, in his completely even, 'I'm going to end you' voice.

Danny swiftly ran away.

"But of course, now that you're...together, you'll turn Reese into an hybrid like yourself." Skynet said, as if it was perfectly logical John would rip Kyle's humanity, not to mention expose him to a highly painful and dangerous ordeal, instead of, say, taking a trip together.

"That's not an option. He and Sarah said no, end of the story. Any change of circumstances doesn't alter that fact."

"Please, John, be reasonable," Skynet said. It was hard to take it seriously with that high-pitched voice. "Sarah is one thing, but you seriously thing Reese would refuse a chance for an eternity together with you _now_? He'll ask you himself, in a few years."

"He might no survive it. He knows that. _You_ know that. I wasn't kidding when I said I can still take you. If you ever suggest it to him..."

"You too were against it at first, and then you gave your consent! It can happen again." Skynet protested.

"When did I ever give you consent?"

"Here you are," Skynet said, waving at him. "You struggled to survive, and succeeded. You..."

"Not dropping dead does not equal consent in any way, shape or form!"

"Says who?"

"Mankind, as a whole, I'm pretty sure." John deadpanned.

"Pst! Mankind! I'm above that, and so are you, now."

"What are you talking about?" Danny said, cautiously coming back to the office with a fire extinguisher in hand.

"About the time Skynet changed me at a molecular level without asking first."

"What a relief. I heard the word 'consent' and I thought blowing the place up was on the table again." Danny said. He put the fire extinguisher on the side of his desk, and started working on Skynet's voice code again.

Though the children loved it, there had been some complains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas! Lots of relatives! Wish I was dead!
> 
> More updates tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Because what this fandom needs is a 'let's pretend to be boyfriends' fic with bonus evil AI matchmaking, am I wrong? Also, thanks to Cyberbutterfly for letting me steal part of the dialogue from her comments.


End file.
